What To Do?

You know what? That is a hard question. As I look at other blogs, it seems that everyone has this homeschool thing figured out. It seems as if everyone is so much more organized than me, more comfortable with the process and more knowledgeable. Ugh, what is a girl to do?

Research. Yep. That's as simple as it can get. I was and still am, being haunted with the realization that I can actually fail my daughter. What if she has to go to school next year and is not at grade level? I refuse to let that happen.

At first, I started out with great ideas. We were going to start Social Studies with Egypt, but we never finished our lessons. Then I checked out the movie Roots from the library and intended to do a family tree with interview questions for our elders. The notebook is still on the shelf. Then we researched a wonderful artist, Romare Bearden and I created a great lesson plan and tied in our family history in it. Well, uhhh....that lesson is still on the to-do board.

In panic of the haunting voice in my head, I clicked on youtube. "How to create lapbooks?" So many video's came up. That was a wonderful start. Then I found lesson plans. So, I'm happy to say that we're doing an all-inclusive lesson plan based off of the book, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. There was a great lesson plan that included all of the core subjects: math, science, language arts, social studies, and art. And, we're doing it and it's not on the shelf! Next, we'll do an a'la carte lesson based on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (If you need the lesson plans I'll post the links.)

And, you'll never know...I might get so good with following through with my lesson plans that we'll go back and do the other stuff I wanted to do.

Tip: Don't get overwhelmed in trying to do it all. By putting so much pressure on yourself, you'll probably create anxiety and block your creativity in your lessons.

The Real Deal -Part 2

I met a wonderful woman today as I waited to get my car serviced. She noticed the way that Dove and I were interacting and working on our lessons. "Are you homeschooling her?" After letting her know that I was indeed homeschooling her, the obvious question came next. "What made you decide to homeschool?"

I wanted to say, "Take a seat, this might take a while." So I gave her the short version, which I'll repeat for you.

First, I went on a mission trip to Guatemala and met a few homeschoolers and loved how mature, responsible and smart they were. I knew that I wanted my child to grow to have those qualities. At that moment, I promised that if I had the opportunity then I'd consider homeschooling. Well, I seized the opportunity when BOA and Mr. Vanderberry pushed me out of the door. Which, I might add, was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Secondly, I visit schools and teach drama to elementary students to help their reading and writing. I was so hurt with realizing that children didn't have a grasp on vocabulary, sentence structure or the elements of a story. It's not that our teachers were failing them, but the whole school system. Teachers have their hands tied behind their backs with the lack of resources, the red tape and lack of freedom with their lessons plans and the pressure of having the students pass the EOG standardized testing. And, not to mention the disruptive behavior and behavior issues that they have to deal with. I was truly disheartened.

Thirdly, my daughter was being bullied for being on the A-Honor Roll. Even though the schools had a "NO BULLY" policy, I still didn't see that they enforced it. It was so bad that the counselor contacted me because they found a note that she wrote that said, "I feel like I want to kill myself." Chile, I cried and thought, "Not my child." But, several of my friends admitted to me the almost same story.

This bully got other people to ostracize my daughter. And, I didn't want her to not excel in school to fit in with them. I was really mad with the principal at the school for an incident that happened with this bully. For Christmas, I gave specialized keys to friends with different words on them such as peace, love, success, prosperity, wisdom, etc. I specifically picked the keys out for people and special reasons. I gave Dove's teacher one for "love," I wished that she would have an abundance of love for teaching. I also gave Dove success and wisdom.

Well, one day (months later) her chain broked and the "bully" picked them up and wouldn't give them back. The teacher ended up taking them and both girls sweared that they were theirs, but the teacher knew that they belonged to Dove and even told the "bully" that I gave her one just like it. Her hands were tied because the girl was relentless with claiming them as hers. So, the teacher gave them to the principal whom I contacted. I even sent the card that I gave to Dove describing why I gave her the keys and the store where I purchased them. She told me that she knew that they belonged to Dove, but the "bully's" mother said that the keys belonged to her child and was given to her by an uncle. Yep, now ya'll know that lady was lying, right?

Back in the day, my Detroit teachers would have called a duck a duck. But, in this day and age, we can't offend anyone. So, the principal went out to the store and purchased the keys for the "bully" and gave my daughter back hers. I thought this was awful! They allowed this child to lie and steal and she was rewarded for it. What message would that send to the other children?

Lastly, I wanted my child to be able to compete in this world for colleges and scholarships. I don't feel confident in the school system to equip her with the knowledge to get her ready to be able to do that.

So, after our brief conversation, the nice woman I met was inspired to research it and consider homeschooling her preschooler.

Got Guilt?

Homeschooling is not a joke. It's not. There are a lot of parents really excelling at homeschooling. I really want to be one of those parents.

In the beginning, I thought I was doing an okay job. Initially, I was to be a part of a co-op but I realized that my schedule wouldn't allow us to commit to it. It would have been fantastic to learn with a group and have that structure, yet creative energy. But, now I'm doing this alone...as a single mother. There are no re-inforced lessons from anyone else outside of me...got it?

The deal is, you've got to stick to the lessons and follow through. How many people do you know that start a project and leave it unfinished and go to the next idea? Well, it could be the same thing with homeschooling -- if you don't commit to following through.

I've started some great lessons, but without following through they're only mere  introductions. I realized that I can actually fail my daughter in educating her. I asked Dove, "Do you really trust me with your education?" Innocently and naively, she answered, "yes." Several months later, I look around and see that we've been relaxing. I haven't honestly been utilizing our time wisely or even recording our lessons and effectively evaluating and assessing her.

What would happen if she had to go back to school? How do we know if she's ahead of the game or have to repeat the year? What if I'm not really equipping her with the best (my intention of homeschooling in the first place)?

Well...I'm about to get rid of the guilt and actually organize my lessons so that I can effectively teach my daughter.

I'll keep you posted.